What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How often do you watch the news on TV?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why is digital marketing important?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Is the saying "nice guys finish last" true? Can good intentions always lead to positive outcomes?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What are examples of real life forced feminization?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!